Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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