I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think my moral compass just broke
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
