honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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