So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
