i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize