just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
