This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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