Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
