You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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