What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
