Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
