PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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