Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
