Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
