Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
