you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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