I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
