Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
