I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I smell like Dick and happiness
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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