We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize