So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just had sex on a roof
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
