That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize