i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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