I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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