I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
