he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
