her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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