You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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