No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
