After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
