no, he came in my armpit
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
smell my finger.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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