I think scott just propositioned me for sex
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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