Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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