What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
