I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
