can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize