haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
