its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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