Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize