the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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