I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
