I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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