my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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