Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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