Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Please don't give away my fajitas
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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