pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
