i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
