Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
