her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
