so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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