I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
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