Four minutes until I can fart!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
