The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize