i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it's like iHOP with fire
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
