if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
