Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
