I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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