I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
