Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
