i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
