i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
