...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
