Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just pee around me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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