It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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