im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
birth control should be required to get into college
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think I just sharted jello shots
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
