i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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