; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize