I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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