I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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