it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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