please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
