My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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