Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
